3 month newsletter

Selah,

3 months already?!  Time is FLYING BY.  Seriously, it seemed like we just came home from the birthing center last night, and you're already starting to hold your head up.  Crazy.  One of my facebook friends told me shortly after you were born, "I can't wait to hear your birthing story when you have time, like in 3 months."  I thought to myself, well I plan on writing her birthing story next week.  Ha!  It's been 3 months and I've only just started it.

You're a very sweet girl, always smiling.  I've had two people tell me now that you look like a cabbage patch doll.  Lol.  It's your chubby wubby cheeks that you get from Mama.  Ironically when you frown everyone credits it to your dad, "That's a Louis face if I ever saw one," Pastor Jake told us recently. 

You enjoy bathtime very much, you hardly fuss.  You love your activity mat and have recently started swatting at the musical bee.  You've found your hand and love to shove your fist in your mouth.

Selah in her swing

The biggest issue we've had with you is you don't ever poop!  You were going once a week but then it slowed down to 12 days and we couldn't wait any longer and gave you a suppository.  Dr. Lamug sent us to see a specialist about that.  One of them said you were fine and the other wants to test you for Hirshprung's.  They want to do a rectal biopsy.  If you do have hirschprung's, they'll have to perform surgery to remove the affected intestines.  It's all rather invasive.  Your dad and I have put it off for awhile.  We're trying other methods like karo syrup every day, infant massage and we're gonna get you a spinal adjustment.  We'll see if that helps.  Some breastfed babies just don't go all that often and you might be one of them.  We hate to put you through pain and suffering if it's not necessary.  When you don't go every 10 days, we have to give you a suppository.  Thank Goodness for  your father, because I totally cried with you the first time we had to do it.  You cry in the beginning and then you just strain, but you poop a lot when you get it. 

You've recently started babbling and cooing a lot.  You're very talkative.  Mr. John gave us some Dr. Suess books and you enjoy people reading to you very much.  I left you with your Amah (my mom) one day and I asked her if she read to you.  She replied, "Yes, but I noticed that she only looks at the pictures."  Really?  Imagine that!  She said, "So I only read a couple of words on each page and just let her look at the pictures."  LOL. 

Halloween came and went, and you were delectable sushi, compliments of Ms. Sara.

 

Some nights you sleep through the night, and other nights you wake around 5.  Your bedtime is usually around 11 PM.  I went to a consignment sale and got you a TON of clothes.  You're so much fun to shop for.

We've been working at sleep training.  I've read Babywise, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, and The No Cry Sleep Solution.   I've tried to let you cry it out, but you scream for 1.5 hours at times.  No bueno.  I gave up on that.  I like the Baby Whisperer the best thus far, I find it to be the most balanced and the most helpful book for this stage in your life.  I feel especially bad for you because sometime our lives are so busy and on the go, that we don't have the predictability required to put you on a routine.  Things are getting better though.  We're gradually fostering your independence.  If we put you down before, you'd have a total meltdown and throw a fit.  When you go down for naps now, I pat your bum for a while and try to let you fall asleep on your own.  We're striving for you to learn to self-soothe yourself to sleep.  Baby steps.

I want to take this month to focus on your dad.  He's super great with you.  Sometimes, he's the only one that can calm you down.  You've taken to sitting in the crook of his elbow.  Weirdo.  He takes you when I need a break or some alone time.  Lately, I've had to work more than I want to and he's been the one to care for you while I do that.  He takes time to play with you and entertain you and he loves to see that smile.  You have a really good daddy Selah.  A great one.  One that loves to care for you and shepherd you and protect you.  Remember to obey Selah, even when you don't feel like it.  He can see the big picture when you or I cannot and his every decision is our best interest.  Your dad attempts to be selfless in everything he does and we should seek to honor and respect him always.  I love you so much babydoll, but your dad is the apple of my eye.  He is my beloved and I pray that you would be blessed and feel secure in our love for one another, knowing that your mom and dad love each other very much.  We love you Selah Grace, so much so that our hearts ache.

Until next month,
Mama

9 weeks newsletter

Selah,

This newsletter is late and it's all your fault.  I can't get anything done around you!  =)  It's 7 in the morning and it's been awhile since I've been up at this time.  Usually, we're just going to back to sleep at this point.  But today, while it is quiet I want the chance to write.  It's a bit difficult to pull myself away from watching you sleep.  It's such a contrast to when you're awake throwing a fit.

In truth, you are a really good baby.  Most of the time I know what you want and if we're on the same page you usually don't fuss.  You don't hate your car seat nearly as much when as you did when you were first born.  You despise when we have to stop and you cry at red lights.  You've learned to sleep when we drive which has been quite nice on the hour long trips we take to church every week.

You haven't pooped in 9 days and I'm getting rather worried.  You might have a dairy sensitivity so I'm cutting it out of my diet and see if that helps.  On the other hand, you don't seem constipated and only going once a week has been pretty regular for you.  One day you're gonna read this is go, "Mom!  You wrote about my poop?!"  Yes ma'am, the whole  world will now know about your potty habits.

The only time you're really fussy is when it's time to go to bed in the evenings.  For whatever reason you fight sleep and it makes you really cranky.  You're only waking up to feed once a night now and then you go back to sleep.  You're a champ at nursing now but I hear you also take the bottle really well when I'm not around.  I've tried to give you water in your bottle a couple of times and I know you hate that.

You're smiling back at us now which is a huge milestone.  You are SUCH  a morning baby!  You love it when we first unswaddle you and you grin from ear to ear when you first wake up.  You're just starting to hold your head up a bit and it's cute!

Your eyebrows are starting to darken a bit and you're getting mullet hair.  I've noticed that your nails grow really fast, your dad says cutting them is like surgery, lol.

Your dad and I sing hymns to you constantly as well as make up silly songs in our attempt to rhyme.  I think about you often when I'm away from you and even when you're napping.  I can say that I'm very proud of you and love you very much.  One day if you ever read this I hope you will understand our unconditional love for you.  Even in these early days when you're not doing anything productive or great, we love you.  There will be times when you disappoint us, when you'll rebel, and act out, and fail but our love for you does not change.  As your parents we emulate the love of Jesus who does not give up on us though we fail Him often.  He is faithful even when we are not.  I hope you come to know we do our best to be good to you, even when you don't like. 

I love you dear girl. 
- Mama

newsletter, last until she's born

Dear Selah,

We're counting down the days until you get here.  I hope we're ready.  I'm starting to freak out a bit thinking about the difficulty of labor and have already wondered what in the world compelled me to have a natural birth.  Great Grandma said she was completely knocked out during the labor process because that's how they did it 'back in the day.'  Well, that sounds pretty good to me.  I know that a natural birth is best for you and that's why I"m toughin' it out, all for you baby!  I think you might be a HUGE baby, well you feel huge to me.  I know you're getting squished in there.  Midwife said that fetal movement would decrease as you just don't have a lot of room to move around anymore. 

I want you to know that you're our greatest priority after taking care of each other.  I want you to really know that.  You're our very first child, the first time we've been given to parent's ministry.  The first time we've been gifted with a daughter of Eve.  These last few years we've been taking care of a different kind of baby, a business.  Business is very demanding, makes us comply to her schedule, and has many needs that only Daddy and I can meet.  I don't know how the business will do when you're here.  See, Business will have to take a backburner to you dear girl.  You'll have your own schedule and make your own demands.  Daddy and I will have to split up all the duties to take care of the both of you.  I'll be taking care of you mostly as I have assets Daddy wasn't given.  And your Daddy will have to step up and embrace new challenges that aren't quite in his forte.  I am confident in his abilities to handle the business as he is confident in my mothering skills.  Growing up, my mom and dad (your grandparents) had a business too.  Unfortunately, that business kept them very busy.  I spent my childhood growing up around 'the store.'  I learned to help out when we were in a pinch.  I sold fish/shrimp as a 10 year old.  I was a grocery store cashier on the weekends at 15 and I also was the floor supervisor/customer service rep.  I did not do any of this work willingly.  In fact, I did it begrudgingly.  I hated the businesses.  I hated how it consumed all of my parents time and energy.  I hated how they could never take to me birthday parties or over to friends houses cause they always had to work.  Life, was all about their work and I resented it.  Now, I realize how sinful my attitude was.  I was not happy in serving my parents, I was not interested in learning the skills and experience they offered me and I was mostly angry because I wasn't allowed to be selfish like I truly wanted.  Sweet pea, learn from my failure and sin.  I wish I had honored my parents, loved them for providing for me so selflessly.  They probably didn't want to work as hard as they did any more than I wanted them to.  They are loyal and dedicated with an amazing work ethic that's to be admired.  I wish I had opened my eyes to the things they wanted to teach me.  I wish I had heeded their advice.  Luckily, some of what they taught me stuck even though I didn't want it to and it makes me a better employer today. 

But I tell you all this because I want you to know that even though emergencies happen with the business we will put you before the store.  We will make time for you and save energy for you and plan fun things for you and we'll take off work to do it.  If we still have the store when you're older, I'll teach the trade and God willing you will have a teachable heart. 

Pregnancy Update and Newsletter

This week marks 28 weeks.  7 months.  I have not finished one pregnancy book.  I'm just doing this by the seat of my pants!  I'm already getting sooo hot.  I'm never cool enough.  Ever.  Our electricity bill is gonna be ridiculous.  I passed my glucose test, yay!  I didn't think I would, that 16 oz Coke made me feel so sick.

For 6 weeks I would wake up at 4 every morning and stay awake for a couple of hours before falling asleep again, that made me a mean pregnant monster.  Luckily that stopped and I have friends again.  I would post more belly pictures but my facebook is being way stupid.  FB and my mac are mad at each other and poor Photo Uploader is the victim of their custody battle.  On to the newsletter!

Dear Selah,

You've been an active little booger and you're moving around a lot.  It's like you're a balloon attached to my sides and I can't move for fear of putting too much pressure on you.  You have made my core (abs, lateral muscles and back) absolutely useless making it impossible to get up off the couch without the help of a forklift.  You've exploded in my belly these last couple of weeks and every time I walk past a mirror I gawk at how big I am.

Your grandma is way excited that you're coming.  She's already bought a playpen/bassinet/changing table for HER house when you come over.  She's also insistent on getting you the BEST mattress that money can buy because it's proven how babies get herniated disks because the unloving parents only bought a $50 mattress.  She also wants to stay with us for a whole MONTH to make sure that mama knows how to take care of you. 

Your daddy and I went to register for all your stuff.  Ms. Debbie was a big help (Hi Debbie!!).  We about fell over with sticker shock.  Your crib will cost $400, your mattress (at least another $200 if your grandma has anything to do with it), not to mention your bedding priced at $180.  Your little 'throne' all together will come out to over $700.  We haven't even gotten into the glider, playpen, travel system, high chair and 50 other things that you'll need.  We've decided that it would be more economical to get you a king size bed complete with bedding that you can spend your life growing into.  You might not get toys like the rest of the kiddos but by gosh, you'll have the best bed ever!  When you get bored, we'll give you matches to play with which you can sell on the street corner to pay off your ultra mattress.  I kid.

You make me very tired and I can't work for very long without resting but that's a very good thing.  I can't wait to work less and stay home with you.  I can't wait to play domestic housewife and add PT- SAHM to my job description (that's stay at home mom for all you ignoramus out there).

Your showers are coming up where people will 'shower' us with gifts.  It's such a blessing to be part of our church.  Selah, I can't wait for you to meet all these awesome people.  They're already buying you clothes and hats, (Hi Sandra L!!!), and they're praying for you and they ask about you every time I see them.  I wonder if you can hear the preaching while you're down in there.  I like to think you'll come out recognizing Jake's voice and it will soothe you.

You're reactive to Daddy's voice and you get all riled up when he gets into theological talks with others.  I pray you will have a deep deep love for Jesus and that he will grant you wisdom in understanding his gospel.  I pray you will understand the depth of your depravity and your abounding need for a Savior.  I pray He saves you and gives you a new heart to replace the one you will be born with.

Sometimes I worry that my 'sin' will be passed down to you.  You know, my worry and anxiety, my temptations. laziness, and wrong attitudes.  Like when I get angry or have lustful thoughts, what does that do to you?  I hope that these things don't affect you while you're in the womb.  I should look into these things and get my theology straight.  Note to self, look up generational sin.

I'm getting excited about your birth.  In fact, we're going to a child-birthing class this Saturday.  Although it scares the FIRE out of me.  I don't know what or how my pain tolerance will be.  Oy, I don't want to talk about that right now.  The good news is, we're NOT hiring a doula.  Why is that good you ask?  Because your daddy and I had a good long fight talk about that.  I wanted one because we've never done this before and everyone knows you need a expert around when I panic and lose it.  But your precious daddy reminded me that he's been there for me all the times that I've panicked and lost it.  And guess what?  He's STILL here.  Your daddy is a soldier who has stuck by mama despite her crazies.  And best of all, he wants to be there for the both of us during your birth and doesn't want anyone else to take his place.  After talking with Bernadette, she said that if he wants to be an active laboring partner then no doula needed.  So there ya go.  When you come into the world it's gonna be your parental units and a couple of midwives. 

We love you Selah.
-Mama

Tomorrow- I'll tell you all about work!

Newsletter Week 21

Dear Selah,

We found out you were a girl about 2 weeks ago.  We're so thrilled about it!  I had a feeling you were a girl all along and am very happy to have those suspicions confirmed.  Several people believed you to be a girl as well so you made your presence known.  Luckily, because you are a girl, we've had your first name picked out for a long time.  Good thing your Daddy and I decided ahead of time because it's gonna take us 4 more months to decide on your middle name!  Your name means, "meditate upon" or "think on this."  Uncle Rusty keeps telling us the meaning of your name is 'unknown' which I guess is true.  No one is exactly positive what it means.  Your name comes from Psalms, spoken in many of them.  Daddy and I love it and know it will be perfect on you.

I read somewhere that when you have children the days go by like years and the years go by like days.  You'll be grown and married before we know it.  I plan on cherishing all my time with you and noting everything and every way you grow.  I've really started to feel your movements inside me and it blesses me immensely. You started this yesterday and you seem to be more active at night.  You don't like Sam's pizza, I know that much, as I experienced yesterday.


I met a mother a work that has a son with a brain defect.  I asked her if it was hard with her son and she told me the honest truth.  It's very hard.  He has many special needs and will probably never walk or even talk normally.  She said it's also a huge blessing to care for him.  I realize the difficulty and reality of caring for someone with special needs, I also understand what a blessing it will be.  We constantly pray for your health as you grow in the womb and hope that you will be perfect and well.  If you're not, we won't be disappointed for God knows best and He allowed you to be that way.  We will cherish you and enjoy taking care of you all the days of your life.

I'm been thinking about how life will change when you are born.  We won't be able to get up and go as we please, life will be more scheduled and regulated to accommodate your needs as you demand consistency and regularity in your life.  This will be a change for us in the beginning.  Your needs will be a great priority and as parents that is a sacrifice, you will come before sleep, before the housekeeping and before our own emotions.  It's a sacrifice we lovingly and willingly make for you.  Our privacy and intimacy will be pushed aside on most days as we make room and time for you.  Lots of changes to come.  In the meantime, while we wait, I will cherish my days with your dad and enjoy your presence inside of me.  Be blessed little babe and come healthy.  May God keep you.