Dear Selah,
You've just turned 2. We had a small get together with friends for you where you received a bouncy ball with a handle, a toy that you've been coveting for a long time. We plan on taking you to the zoo and the children's museum soon.
You're a genuine delight to be around. You're free with hugs and kisses for anyone that wants one. You love to tickle your parents. You are generally wary of men but that's not a bad thing at this point in time! Some of your favorite people include your Amah and Valwee whom you ask for almost everyday. You also mention 'Com (grandpa in Chinese) and grandma, Tom Tom (which you say in a deep voice), Whit Whit, Bubba, Debbie and Kaylee.
Your vocabulary is growing immensely but we do love to hear you say some words over and over again like- nom nom nom (watermelon), and STRAWBERRY!, and locklate (chocolate). When you call the dog you say EYE! (for Isaac). You are still using your signs which I am so grateful for because half the time I don't know what you're saying. You've made up some of your own signs and that's also very helpful. To name a few, you shake your fist for oils, turn 2 fingers for louder, and pinch your fingers together when you want a sticker. The more signs we can teach you the better. You're starting to learn your phonics starting with ABCD and you can already recognize these letters. For some reason you've stopped saying your D's and have replaced them with Gs so Dada sounds like Gaga and dog sounds like gog. You drive me insane with the number of times you say Mama all the time.
You love to read books, flip pages, play with your baby dolls and 'cook' for us. And bubbles are a big deal. You're insistent and particular about some things like washing your fruit and shaking it dry. You LOVE to apply oils to any kind of bobo, even if it means making some up. You already love to wipe things down so I hope you grow up to love cleaning! You're so good about picking up your toys when asked. You've learned to use a spray bottle to spray water at people and you think it's hilarious. You enjoy youtube videos with Elmo and Itsy Bitsy Spider. You sit on the counter and 'help' Mama cook, and you especially like when you get to wash rice and make green smoothies.
You're getting better and better at sitting still during church. You sing in your own baby talk during music sometimes and it is so cute! You ask to do worship sometimes at home and that really blesses your Mama. You love to distribute bibles and hymnals during family worship and take your job very seriously. You are pretty responsive to discipline making you an easy going sweet girl.
You're tiny at about 23 lbs which is a source of stress for me but you eat all the time. And you eat really well. You love most vegetables including broccoli, green beans, and cucumbers. Fruit is your snack of choice particularly grapes and peaches. Your palate changes day to day, you'll eat something one day and not care for it the next. Meat is not your favorite but you'll obligate us.
When we tell you No, you respond with wait! Meaning you hope the answer will change later. You can buckle the chest clip by yourself in your car seat. When you do anything praiseworthy you always say "good girl" so we remember to give you praise too.
You are the sweetest joy and one of my greatest blessings. I think about you when you go to bed and look forward to seeing you every morning. I'm so thankful for you Selah and so proud I get to be your Mama. I love you sweet girl.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Vacay Day 2 & 3
San Antonio is impossible to navigate, even with a GPS. Don't bother following maps because it's always on the opposite side of where you think it is.
Got locked in a hallway at the hotel with an employee for 20 minutes. Knocked on doors furiously until someone found us.
Enjoyed a massage at the nicest spa and took a shower there with 4 showerheads!
Got lost looking for Taco Bell.
Went to Buc-ee's. Huge but overpriced. Bought jerky.
Drove around looking for Gruene, TX ended up in Canyon Lake, TX.
Enjoyed the scenic drive and good uninterrupted conversation nonetheless.
Found Gruene! Browsed an antique store, amazed at how much someone else's old junk can go over.
Reminded that life and material goods are fleeting and eventually worthless.
Went to The Stepping Stone Coffee Bar, enjoyed a limeade and good Christian book. So relaxing.
Drove back to the hotel and rested a bit before dinner, we declined turn down service but got some ice (big deal with no ice machines!)
Ate at Lupe's where they were not skimpy on their guac or cheese. Louis also got a lot of meat which never happens. Good amount of food but didn't taste the same to me. Got a surprise discount on the meal, score!
Browsed HEB for about 45 minutes much to Louis' chagrin and my pleasure. Bought drinks and candy and breakfast
Went back to the hotel and sat on the lofty and beautiful terrace and enjoyed more conversation with my beloved. It was breezy, cool and so nice to be outside and talk about things we are thankful for.
Day 3
A relaxing and slow morning. Ate breakfast and took a shower.
Checked out of amazing hotel and received another surprise discount.
Ate at Chic-fil-a.
Drove back to town to pick up dog and baby.
So thankful for rest and relaxation and the good things that God had for us. Praise Him.
We didn't do too much outside because it was so hot but I think we really made the most of it.
Got locked in a hallway at the hotel with an employee for 20 minutes. Knocked on doors furiously until someone found us.
Enjoyed a massage at the nicest spa and took a shower there with 4 showerheads!
Got lost looking for Taco Bell.
Went to Buc-ee's. Huge but overpriced. Bought jerky.
Drove around looking for Gruene, TX ended up in Canyon Lake, TX.
Enjoyed the scenic drive and good uninterrupted conversation nonetheless.
Found Gruene! Browsed an antique store, amazed at how much someone else's old junk can go over.
Reminded that life and material goods are fleeting and eventually worthless.
Went to The Stepping Stone Coffee Bar, enjoyed a limeade and good Christian book. So relaxing.
Drove back to the hotel and rested a bit before dinner, we declined turn down service but got some ice (big deal with no ice machines!)
Ate at Lupe's where they were not skimpy on their guac or cheese. Louis also got a lot of meat which never happens. Good amount of food but didn't taste the same to me. Got a surprise discount on the meal, score!
Browsed HEB for about 45 minutes much to Louis' chagrin and my pleasure. Bought drinks and candy and breakfast
Went back to the hotel and sat on the lofty and beautiful terrace and enjoyed more conversation with my beloved. It was breezy, cool and so nice to be outside and talk about things we are thankful for.
Day 3
A relaxing and slow morning. Ate breakfast and took a shower.
Checked out of amazing hotel and received another surprise discount.
Ate at Chic-fil-a.
Drove back to town to pick up dog and baby.
So thankful for rest and relaxation and the good things that God had for us. Praise Him.
We didn't do too much outside because it was so hot but I think we really made the most of it.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
a vacation update
I intentionally didn't bring my camera because I didn't want to be burdened with taking pictures. I'm trying to be present in the moment and just enjoy life without trying to overdocument everything with facebook updates, tweets, and worrying about taking pictures.
But man I wish I brought my camera! I want to blog for the memory of it all. My mom got us this hotel package for our anniversary and the Eilan Hotel is so very nice. We're totally spoiled already. It's grande and new and looks like Europe here. There's even lights in the closets when you open the doors. They have magazines and a phone in the toilet room, crazy nice!
We dined at the hotel restaurant (with a voucher) and the dinner was nice. We certainly felt out of place at such a nice place. This is a kind of place that serves amuse bouche with dinner. After, we drove around and around before finding The Falls at The Shops of La Cantera, turns out to be right up the mountain from the hotel. The Falls reminds me of the shops at Sugar Land Town Square. We had gelato (5 flavors in one cup!) and stopped by Sur La Table. Sur sells kitchen and cooking supplies. My kinda store! I finally bought a microplane that I've been wanting forever. We then stopped by Target to buy some sunglasses for Louis and pistachios for me to snack on. The day has been relaxing and enjoying. It's been really nice to stop and sit with no real plans. The pace has been leisurely and the company is the best. I really enjoy hanging out with my hubby. When we got back to the hotel, the bed had been turned down, shades drawn and coffee and creamer replenished. They even cleaned the shower and replace the mats from when I showered just before dinner. They are crazy on top of things. Having too much fun and missing my girl at the same time. :)
But man I wish I brought my camera! I want to blog for the memory of it all. My mom got us this hotel package for our anniversary and the Eilan Hotel is so very nice. We're totally spoiled already. It's grande and new and looks like Europe here. There's even lights in the closets when you open the doors. They have magazines and a phone in the toilet room, crazy nice!
We dined at the hotel restaurant (with a voucher) and the dinner was nice. We certainly felt out of place at such a nice place. This is a kind of place that serves amuse bouche with dinner. After, we drove around and around before finding The Falls at The Shops of La Cantera, turns out to be right up the mountain from the hotel. The Falls reminds me of the shops at Sugar Land Town Square. We had gelato (5 flavors in one cup!) and stopped by Sur La Table. Sur sells kitchen and cooking supplies. My kinda store! I finally bought a microplane that I've been wanting forever. We then stopped by Target to buy some sunglasses for Louis and pistachios for me to snack on. The day has been relaxing and enjoying. It's been really nice to stop and sit with no real plans. The pace has been leisurely and the company is the best. I really enjoy hanging out with my hubby. When we got back to the hotel, the bed had been turned down, shades drawn and coffee and creamer replenished. They even cleaned the shower and replace the mats from when I showered just before dinner. They are crazy on top of things. Having too much fun and missing my girl at the same time. :)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Quick takes
1. Memorial Day weekend. Fun and restful. My family kept Selah overnight for the second time. Louis and I don't know what to do with ourselves without a little one to take care of. 30 more years of always having kids around will really leave us clueless with each other. Resolution- more date nights.
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2. Selah took a tumble and scraped her hand up. It's not too bad but she wouldn't use her hand for 3 days and kept it clenched in a fist to protect it.
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3. Soda tastings are fun. Ever had one? It's a Baptist's dream. Order a bunch of expensive sodas and sit around with some friends and throw around words like earthy and spicy when describing root beer.
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4. So I thought I pulled my a muscle in my lower back and laid around for 3 days. Walking, sitting, standing hurt like the dickens (what does this mean anyway?). I finally called my midwife and she told me it was pregnancy related, probably sciatica. Prescribed adjustments, some torturous stretches and moist heat. Did all the at home things and finally went to get adjusted. Chiropractor saw me for 2 seconds and did nothing to ease the pain. 2 more days of misery and went to another chiropractor. Finally gave me some relief. She was shocked at my bad shape, understood how bad the pain was, and was outraged at my first chiropractor for not doing more. I wanted to make her a best friends forever bracelet right there. So looking forward to going back on Tuesday.
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5. Sciatica makes me not want to be pregnant ever again. I don't know how people do it. Shifting pelvis, pinched nerves, bedrest?
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6. I wish my husband was a chiropractor. I would get adjusted every hour.
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7. I've learned a lot about myself this week. I've learned that I'm pretty selfish. And for me, the hardest thing about suffering is that I'm thinking about my pain all the time. It makes one very self centered. Prone to complaining. Prone to not being about to think or concentrate about anything else. Having to be dependent on others is very humbling. Being on bed rest and having no works at all to prove your worth and self righteousness is convicting. Where is my righteousness and faith? In Christ alone.
(See Lord? I learned my lesson, now heal me!)
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2. Selah took a tumble and scraped her hand up. It's not too bad but she wouldn't use her hand for 3 days and kept it clenched in a fist to protect it.
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3. Soda tastings are fun. Ever had one? It's a Baptist's dream. Order a bunch of expensive sodas and sit around with some friends and throw around words like earthy and spicy when describing root beer.
-----------------
4. So I thought I pulled my a muscle in my lower back and laid around for 3 days. Walking, sitting, standing hurt like the dickens (what does this mean anyway?). I finally called my midwife and she told me it was pregnancy related, probably sciatica. Prescribed adjustments, some torturous stretches and moist heat. Did all the at home things and finally went to get adjusted. Chiropractor saw me for 2 seconds and did nothing to ease the pain. 2 more days of misery and went to another chiropractor. Finally gave me some relief. She was shocked at my bad shape, understood how bad the pain was, and was outraged at my first chiropractor for not doing more. I wanted to make her a best friends forever bracelet right there. So looking forward to going back on Tuesday.
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5. Sciatica makes me not want to be pregnant ever again. I don't know how people do it. Shifting pelvis, pinched nerves, bedrest?
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6. I wish my husband was a chiropractor. I would get adjusted every hour.
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7. I've learned a lot about myself this week. I've learned that I'm pretty selfish. And for me, the hardest thing about suffering is that I'm thinking about my pain all the time. It makes one very self centered. Prone to complaining. Prone to not being about to think or concentrate about anything else. Having to be dependent on others is very humbling. Being on bed rest and having no works at all to prove your worth and self righteousness is convicting. Where is my righteousness and faith? In Christ alone.
(See Lord? I learned my lesson, now heal me!)
Friday, April 20, 2012
the good, the bad, and the ugly
Selah is getting so big, she's signing more and talking more. Her signs include potty, more, please, thank you, help and eat. Her vocabulary is still rather limited, she will say dog, ice, bips (chips), mama and dada, lock-lat (chocolate) and 'rapes (grapes). She's pointing a lot and learning new words everyday. She loves books, to turn pages mostly but she likes animal books and to imitate their sounds. She's also very motherly already, feeding, changing and hushing her baby dolls to sleep. We'll start potty training next week. She loves shoes and jewelry, Elmo videos, tortillas, and fries. She's 20 mths.
Time is going by so fast, I can't hold on enough, we'll be a family of 4 before too long.
Things have been so busy this is the first chance I feel like I've gotten to breathe in so long, it's been a good restful week. We've watched movies, eaten out with friends, visited with family. Life's greatest pleasures rolled all together.
I'm thankful for friends who are open about their progress of sanctification and inspire me to grow as well.
I'm so thankful for my loving and gracious husband who models the grace of Christ to me when I don't deserve it. I've really been enjoying and learning much from family worship in the proverbs.
My sin and failure are ever before me but I have a gracious Father who grows and changes me. Praise and Glory to the Lord.
Time is going by so fast, I can't hold on enough, we'll be a family of 4 before too long.
Things have been so busy this is the first chance I feel like I've gotten to breathe in so long, it's been a good restful week. We've watched movies, eaten out with friends, visited with family. Life's greatest pleasures rolled all together.
I'm thankful for friends who are open about their progress of sanctification and inspire me to grow as well.
I'm so thankful for my loving and gracious husband who models the grace of Christ to me when I don't deserve it. I've really been enjoying and learning much from family worship in the proverbs.
My sin and failure are ever before me but I have a gracious Father who grows and changes me. Praise and Glory to the Lord.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
weaning and a little breast talk so be forewarned
So Selah is has been weaned for exactly 11 days. I'm sad about this actually, I'll miss nursing her, laying her in my lap, the quiet times together. But she's growing up, and that's what babies do. I still get to to sing and rock her to sleep at night. I'm glad to be along for this joyous ride. I thought it would be really easy on my breasts because she was only nursing once a day at the end but they still got sore and achy.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Long time no blog!
Let me just say it. Not blogging makes me feel guilty. Shamefully so. It's been so long, coming back kinda feels terrible. Like going to the gym after you haven't been in awhile. Some people are like 'yeah!, you're getting back on the horse.' My attitude is 'yeah, I fell off the horse and stayed down for a reeeally long time.' But here I am. I felt the need to blog because today is worth blogging about.
Selah at 18 mths spent her first night away from her parents. I was excited and slightly anxious at the same time. Louis and I went to dinner, Best Buy, Walmart, and rented a redbox. She was gone all Saturday too, didn't come back til 7:30. Louis and I slept in, ate a lazy lunch, and then I spend the rest of the day sewing and watching tv. It was really relaxing. I feel kinda guilty that I enjoyed myself so much. It was fun but also weird. She's become such an integral part of our lives. I felt like I was missing a limb or something. I really thought I heard her cry through the monitor even though she wasn't here. Some alone time is nice but things are only really right when your family is all together like it should be, for now anyway.
Selah at 18 mths spent her first night away from her parents. I was excited and slightly anxious at the same time. Louis and I went to dinner, Best Buy, Walmart, and rented a redbox. She was gone all Saturday too, didn't come back til 7:30. Louis and I slept in, ate a lazy lunch, and then I spend the rest of the day sewing and watching tv. It was really relaxing. I feel kinda guilty that I enjoyed myself so much. It was fun but also weird. She's become such an integral part of our lives. I felt like I was missing a limb or something. I really thought I heard her cry through the monitor even though she wasn't here. Some alone time is nice but things are only really right when your family is all together like it should be, for now anyway.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Selah's Birthday Wish List/ Gift Guide
Her wishlist can be found here
Diaper: Size 4
Clothes: 12 mths or 18 mths. She's low on onesies.
Shoes: Size 3 or 4
And she loves toys that annoy Mom and Dad! :)
Please don't feel obligated to buy her anything. I'm just trying to make it easier on those who want to. I only post this because I know I have a hard time buying gifts for others.
Diaper: Size 4
Clothes: 12 mths or 18 mths. She's low on onesies.
Shoes: Size 3 or 4
And she loves toys that annoy Mom and Dad! :)
Please don't feel obligated to buy her anything. I'm just trying to make it easier on those who want to. I only post this because I know I have a hard time buying gifts for others.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
ife lesson meant for a 4 year old
Today a friend came by to drop something off. While she and I were chatting it up, her son and daughter started fighting over a toy. My friend pulled her daughter away for a quick talkin' to. She told her daughter, "you know, just because he doesn't want to play with it your way, doesn't make it wrong. He can play with it however he wants to." Hmmm, I wish someone had taught me this before I got married.
It's been a hard lesson to learn for this gal. I think doing dishes my way is more efficient and cleaner which makes it the best, duh. Which means, doing it your way is just plain wrong. Why wouldn't you want to do it the best way? Or why would you take that route when it's obviously easier and quicker to take MY route which has already been tested and determined by me as being the best?! Lately, I've found myself wanting to impose my way on others a lot, not just with my husband. Sorry Louis, I'm trying, I promise!
Breastfeeding is OBVIOUSLY best and I don't understand why you don't see that. This is the BEST method for sleep training and prayer and decluttering, I've tried it myself and I know that it works, even for you too. Sigh. I have good intentions and I'm trying to not be pushy. But it's hard because I want to help. So I'm learning, put your two cents out there, and if they take it,give yourself a pat on the back and a 'I KNEW IT would work for you!' be grateful that you were able to help them. And if they don't, hope and pray that they find something that will.
Anyone else learning anything lately?
It's been a hard lesson to learn for this gal. I think doing dishes my way is more efficient and cleaner which makes it the best, duh. Which means, doing it your way is just plain wrong. Why wouldn't you want to do it the best way? Or why would you take that route when it's obviously easier and quicker to take MY route which has already been tested and determined by me as being the best?! Lately, I've found myself wanting to impose my way on others a lot, not just with my husband. Sorry Louis, I'm trying, I promise!
Breastfeeding is OBVIOUSLY best and I don't understand why you don't see that. This is the BEST method for sleep training and prayer and decluttering, I've tried it myself and I know that it works, even for you too. Sigh. I have good intentions and I'm trying to not be pushy. But it's hard because I want to help. So I'm learning, put your two cents out there, and if they take it,
Anyone else learning anything lately?
Saturday, May 7, 2011
2 things
1st- I just sewed on my very first button. As a 25 year old. It was for Selah's dress. That doesn't fit her anymore. But that's beside the point. I'm kinda proud of myself people! Lame I know, but no one's ever taught me how to sew before so even this I had to figure out on my own.
2nd- I meant to blog about this the other day in my recap but I forgot. We've been hanging fly paper around the house to catch some fruit flies. Selah had crumbs all over her so rather than vacuum, I took her over to the kitchen sink to dust her off. The sticky fly paper got stuck in her hair! Freak-out-moment as I gingerly pulled the paper out of her hair and took her to the bathroom to wash it out. I shampooed her hair in the sink, clothes on and all trying to get it out! No luck. In fact, I made it worse because now it was sticking to all of her hair and it was getting all matted down. I was thinking I was gonna have to shave her head to get the mess out. Next, I tried conditioner thinking it would make it slick or something and come out? That didn't work either. Finally, I used hand soap just out of despair. It was better but still slightly sticky. I combed her hair, pulling gently which she found to be rather funny actually. I was able to get most of it. Her hair looks fine now, sticking up like always.
2nd- I meant to blog about this the other day in my recap but I forgot. We've been hanging fly paper around the house to catch some fruit flies. Selah had crumbs all over her so rather than vacuum, I took her over to the kitchen sink to dust her off. The sticky fly paper got stuck in her hair! Freak-out-moment as I gingerly pulled the paper out of her hair and took her to the bathroom to wash it out. I shampooed her hair in the sink, clothes on and all trying to get it out! No luck. In fact, I made it worse because now it was sticking to all of her hair and it was getting all matted down. I was thinking I was gonna have to shave her head to get the mess out. Next, I tried conditioner thinking it would make it slick or something and come out? That didn't work either. Finally, I used hand soap just out of despair. It was better but still slightly sticky. I combed her hair, pulling gently which she found to be rather funny actually. I was able to get most of it. Her hair looks fine now, sticking up like always.
Friday, May 6, 2011
First week of May/ 2011
This week's recap
Monday- Had to work because an employee's son was sick. Mom came to keep Selah for a couple of hours. Selah's such a wiggle worm, she's crawling and pulling up on everything. My mom said, "She crawled all over me, it was like I wasn't even there." Lol.
Tuesday- Went to friends and had a lovely dinner. Made this.
Wednesday- Took Selah for her 9 mth checkup, her Dr. is concerned about her weight, prompting us to get some blood work done. Went to visit my Mama for Mother's day. My sister and I got her this.
Her newest thing is Cajun food. Her etouffee was amazing. I didn't care for the gumbo too much, but I don't really have a good basis of comparison. She also made calas, sauteed crab, crawfish and bread pudding. She also bought me some new shirts just because and a high chair to keep at her house.
Thursday- Went to the lab to get Selah's blood drawn. They put a tourniquet on her to see if a vein would pop up to draw blood from her arm. This made me REALLY anxious. I had no idea how I was gonna hold her down so they could stick that needle in her arm. The technician couldn't find a good vein so they ended up taking it from her finger. They pricked her and continually squeezed her finger trying to get this tube to fill up with blood. It took forever of course trying to fill up this tube droplet by droplet. She screamed for the entire 10-15 minutes. Felt like hours, I felt so bad for her. I know she's not really traumatized but her mommy is. Other than that it was a relaxing day at home, paid a visit to my friendly chiropractor and made roast. Louis had to work because somebody else got sick at work.
Friday- Louis' day off. Went to DoubleDave's for lunch. Selah isn't feeling too well, runny nose. Big grocery trip planned this afternoon. Selah's doctor called back and referred us to a specialist. Everything is normal except for her carbon dioxide output which is low. Louis is going to a dress rehearsal tonight and tomorrow we'll get to see him walk across the stage as he officially graduates from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. I'm really proud of him. He worked really hard and never neglected me when I needed him. He balanced school, work, and family beautifully.
Monday- Had to work because an employee's son was sick. Mom came to keep Selah for a couple of hours. Selah's such a wiggle worm, she's crawling and pulling up on everything. My mom said, "She crawled all over me, it was like I wasn't even there." Lol.
Tuesday- Went to friends and had a lovely dinner. Made this.
Wednesday- Took Selah for her 9 mth checkup, her Dr. is concerned about her weight, prompting us to get some blood work done. Went to visit my Mama for Mother's day. My sister and I got her this.
Isn't it purdy?! Yummy too.
Her newest thing is Cajun food. Her etouffee was amazing. I didn't care for the gumbo too much, but I don't really have a good basis of comparison. She also made calas, sauteed crab, crawfish and bread pudding. She also bought me some new shirts just because and a high chair to keep at her house.
Thursday- Went to the lab to get Selah's blood drawn. They put a tourniquet on her to see if a vein would pop up to draw blood from her arm. This made me REALLY anxious. I had no idea how I was gonna hold her down so they could stick that needle in her arm. The technician couldn't find a good vein so they ended up taking it from her finger. They pricked her and continually squeezed her finger trying to get this tube to fill up with blood. It took forever of course trying to fill up this tube droplet by droplet. She screamed for the entire 10-15 minutes. Felt like hours, I felt so bad for her. I know she's not really traumatized but her mommy is. Other than that it was a relaxing day at home, paid a visit to my friendly chiropractor and made roast. Louis had to work because somebody else got sick at work.
Friday- Louis' day off. Went to DoubleDave's for lunch. Selah isn't feeling too well, runny nose. Big grocery trip planned this afternoon. Selah's doctor called back and referred us to a specialist. Everything is normal except for her carbon dioxide output which is low. Louis is going to a dress rehearsal tonight and tomorrow we'll get to see him walk across the stage as he officially graduates from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. I'm really proud of him. He worked really hard and never neglected me when I needed him. He balanced school, work, and family beautifully.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
facebook detox
So I deactivated my account. I'm tired of it. I remember when facebook first came out, when it was only open to college students. I had a myspace at the time but I remember thinking it was clumsy and really needed an overhaul. My roommate could not stop raving about how great facebook was and I thought, ' Good for you.' 'All our friends are on and you can see their pictures blah blah blah...' I didn't get it. Didn't really care honestly. Then she invited me and I signed up to placate her. But I was so glad I did because she was right, everybody was on it. I could talk to all our friends that were all over the place in all their different schools and it was neat getting to see what everybody was up to. Then fb opened up to the public and then I could REALLY see what everybody was up to. But honestly, I'm burnt out now. I think facebook has a lot of positive helpful attributes, don't get me wrong. I've been able to learn alot from it, helpful links, engaging discussions, stirring quotes, great suggestions from caring friends and family. But lately, I'm more annoyed then anything else. I've hidden LOTS of people because I don't care to read what they post. I don't have the patience to put up with the stupidity, or the ranting or the complaining. So facebook, it's not you, it's me. We've had a good 6 year run but I think I need some space. I'm breaking it off for now but I'll be back when the wind changes, like a 9th grader's relationship status.
Monday, March 21, 2011
hi stranger
Wow, it's been 2 months since I last blogged. That's pretty ridiculous. I think about blogging pretty often actually, and then I think about how behind I am and I get discouraged. I wanted to blog about Selah's first year, but I'm so behind! I wanted to document every milestone. That certainly didn't happen. Like flylady says, just jump in where you are.
I've learned to organize my time a little bit better lately thanks to flylady and it's led to an increase in productivity for me. I've been able to stay on top of housekeeping and that's HUGE for me. 15 minute increments is very doable. Usually, my perfectionist tendencies overtake me and I get overwhelmed by small tasks. My house will stay clean for a few days but will get really messy again within a week. Once I get into the routine of keeping my house clean, I plan on adding exercise into my daily schedule.
I'm also seeing a chiropractor for lower back pain. The pain has gotten less tolerable over the last couple of months and I've learned that pain is a flashlight for sin in your heart. I've been really whiny, angry, and bitter about it. But changes in my thinking has lead me to keep my attitude in check.
We've also attended a NANC conference over the past 3 months and it's been SOOO good (most of it). I've learned a LOT and am excited to pursue it further. I would recommend it anyone involved in ministry and lay people who want to do more ministry in life. I feel like I've gotten a lot of tools to further equip me.
My photography has gotten really busy and I'm working diligently on that. Despite that fact, I feel like I haven't made much of a dent yet. I have LOTS and LOTS to learn.
Those are the highlights. That's all pretty surface and shallow but it is what it is.
I've learned to organize my time a little bit better lately thanks to flylady and it's led to an increase in productivity for me. I've been able to stay on top of housekeeping and that's HUGE for me. 15 minute increments is very doable. Usually, my perfectionist tendencies overtake me and I get overwhelmed by small tasks. My house will stay clean for a few days but will get really messy again within a week. Once I get into the routine of keeping my house clean, I plan on adding exercise into my daily schedule.
I'm also seeing a chiropractor for lower back pain. The pain has gotten less tolerable over the last couple of months and I've learned that pain is a flashlight for sin in your heart. I've been really whiny, angry, and bitter about it. But changes in my thinking has lead me to keep my attitude in check.
We've also attended a NANC conference over the past 3 months and it's been SOOO good (most of it). I've learned a LOT and am excited to pursue it further. I would recommend it anyone involved in ministry and lay people who want to do more ministry in life. I feel like I've gotten a lot of tools to further equip me.
My photography has gotten really busy and I'm working diligently on that. Despite that fact, I feel like I haven't made much of a dent yet. I have LOTS and LOTS to learn.
Those are the highlights. That's all pretty surface and shallow but it is what it is.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
these boots are made for walking. well, sleeping.
Monday, February 21, 2011
emotional diarrhea
I feel like I haven't written an honest post in a long time. After reading a friend's blog, I was inspired to be transparent.
Since I'm now a SAHM, life is so different. I'm struggling to stay on top of my housework. I'm lazy and not diligent. I waste time on the internet and watching TV. I get annoyed when Selah wakes me up in the middle of the night. I feel like now that I'm at home I HAVE to keep the house clean. And I can't. One, I'm not diligent enough to do a lot of housework. Two, I have a baby who doesn't allow me to do a lot of it. She's time consuming and she will not be put aside for chores. So I feel like I can't keep up with the ONE thing that I'm supposed to be doing. (I have more than one thing, but it feels like it's the biggest thing.) I feel like a failure a lot of the time, despite how gracious/loving/patient my husband is with me.
Things are changing with work and in the beginning it was hard to relinquish control to another. Now though, I don't care that much and I hate when I have to go into work. It's difficult for me to transition from one hat to another.
Some days, I feel like I can't get a handle on my life and it's spinning wildly out of control. Lately though, I've been feeling better. I'm learning through flylady and failures that I simply can't do it. I'm learning to take babysteps and do what I can and not lose it. I'm trying not to overwhelm myself.
I haven't posted one of Selah's updates in 3 months. That's like, half her life. I feel like if I don't document her growth everyday it's gonna pass me by and I will have missed my chance. I will totally forget her baby year and that makes me feel so guilty. I wanted to document her growth and tell you what's going on in our everyday life. The everyday little stories. I've taken lots of pictures although not as many as I want, I simply haven't posted any. I really really want to.
I have a vow renewal that I haven't spent much time on editing and I'm scared to start. I just got photoshop and I'm too scared to open it. Why? That's so silly you say. Because learning photoshop is complicated and it's really complex and I can't afford to get overwhelmed. I have another session this Friday and if I don't get on, I'll start getting backed up.
We recently shelled out over $2000 for me to start getting chiropractic treatments for my back pain. I haven't felt much relief yet and it's frustrating because I have to go up to 3x a week. I've been really hurting and it's annoyingly debilitating. I have trouble walking most of the time, standing for more than 5 minutes and getting up and down in general. I feel like an old person.
I'm growing in the Lord and I pray that it will keep up. That's the good part. I'm becoming convicted about many things and there's SO much about myself that I dislike. And that part makes me really really uncomfortable. Why does sanctification come so slowly?
Okay, so my transparent post ended up sounding more like complaining. Sorry. My heart was heavier than I thought.
Since I'm now a SAHM, life is so different. I'm struggling to stay on top of my housework. I'm lazy and not diligent. I waste time on the internet and watching TV. I get annoyed when Selah wakes me up in the middle of the night. I feel like now that I'm at home I HAVE to keep the house clean. And I can't. One, I'm not diligent enough to do a lot of housework. Two, I have a baby who doesn't allow me to do a lot of it. She's time consuming and she will not be put aside for chores. So I feel like I can't keep up with the ONE thing that I'm supposed to be doing. (I have more than one thing, but it feels like it's the biggest thing.) I feel like a failure a lot of the time, despite how gracious/loving/patient my husband is with me.
Things are changing with work and in the beginning it was hard to relinquish control to another. Now though, I don't care that much and I hate when I have to go into work. It's difficult for me to transition from one hat to another.
Some days, I feel like I can't get a handle on my life and it's spinning wildly out of control. Lately though, I've been feeling better. I'm learning through flylady and failures that I simply can't do it. I'm learning to take babysteps and do what I can and not lose it. I'm trying not to overwhelm myself.
I haven't posted one of Selah's updates in 3 months. That's like, half her life. I feel like if I don't document her growth everyday it's gonna pass me by and I will have missed my chance. I will totally forget her baby year and that makes me feel so guilty. I wanted to document her growth and tell you what's going on in our everyday life. The everyday little stories. I've taken lots of pictures although not as many as I want, I simply haven't posted any. I really really want to.
I have a vow renewal that I haven't spent much time on editing and I'm scared to start. I just got photoshop and I'm too scared to open it. Why? That's so silly you say. Because learning photoshop is complicated and it's really complex and I can't afford to get overwhelmed. I have another session this Friday and if I don't get on, I'll start getting backed up.
We recently shelled out over $2000 for me to start getting chiropractic treatments for my back pain. I haven't felt much relief yet and it's frustrating because I have to go up to 3x a week. I've been really hurting and it's annoyingly debilitating. I have trouble walking most of the time, standing for more than 5 minutes and getting up and down in general. I feel like an old person.
I'm growing in the Lord and I pray that it will keep up. That's the good part. I'm becoming convicted about many things and there's SO much about myself that I dislike. And that part makes me really really uncomfortable. Why does sanctification come so slowly?
Okay, so my transparent post ended up sounding more like complaining. Sorry. My heart was heavier than I thought.
God's sovereignty
Sigh. I was working on this post about my day and what I've been learning about the sovereignty and how it affected my reaction about working on call, but it was missing so much context I couldn't post it. It would be confusing and misleading and misunderstood. So I started writing the context about the sovereignty of God but it's SO COMPLICATED that it's a whole 'nother post in and of itself. So now, I don't know what to say! Ugh. Now I'm just frustrated.
I guess you're just gonna have to ask me in person.
I guess you're just gonna have to ask me in person.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
learning old truths
I had a very good weekend. We attended the second weekend of NANC counseling. It was very much a refresher course because I've heard most of the material before. Some truths were simplified and stood out to me. Then I went to bible study on Sunday evening and heard more truth that I should already know. All to say- despite what you hear over and over again, some truths just hit home.
The purpose of life is to please God. That means pleasing God in every little decision that you make throughout the day. That means, allowing His word to dictate your emotions. That means your actions and thoughts don't come out of how you feel. That means you aren't controlled by your whims. That means, you don't worry, you don't act out in your anger, you don't complain. God tells how to we are to think and act in every circumstance. That means you are patient, and joyful and content and you don't get frustrated when circumstances upset your agenda.
This means learning to live everyday life in a manner that's pleasing to God. This means thinking about God in every single minute decision of everyday. For me, this means failing A LOT. And that's okay. Because we are to be growing in sanctification not perfection.
Piper said, "When we are enthralled with God, we forget about ourselves." And that's where I want to live. Enthralled with the King of Universe, the Maker, the God of Answers, the One who knows what's best for me. I'm more than okay with that. Forget me. That's what it means to give God glory. To make the most of him.
To God be the greatest praise and highest honor and the utmost glory. Forever and ever, Amen.
The purpose of life is to please God. That means pleasing God in every little decision that you make throughout the day. That means, allowing His word to dictate your emotions. That means your actions and thoughts don't come out of how you feel. That means you aren't controlled by your whims. That means, you don't worry, you don't act out in your anger, you don't complain. God tells how to we are to think and act in every circumstance. That means you are patient, and joyful and content and you don't get frustrated when circumstances upset your agenda.
This means learning to live everyday life in a manner that's pleasing to God. This means thinking about God in every single minute decision of everyday. For me, this means failing A LOT. And that's okay. Because we are to be growing in sanctification not perfection.
Piper said, "When we are enthralled with God, we forget about ourselves." And that's where I want to live. Enthralled with the King of Universe, the Maker, the God of Answers, the One who knows what's best for me. I'm more than okay with that. Forget me. That's what it means to give God glory. To make the most of him.
To God be the greatest praise and highest honor and the utmost glory. Forever and ever, Amen.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
so behind
So, I haven't kept up with blogging at all. And I already regret it. As the days go by, I wish I had the time to document the everydayness of life. Selah's growing so fast. I hope I will make time more often.
Selah's learned to sit by herself this week. Actually, I think she would have mastered it earlier but I never thought to put her down on the floor. We always sit on the bed cause it's easier on my back. She looks really tiny on the floor. She still kind of hunches over to keep from falling. She's pretty good at balancing herself. We actually put her in the shopping cart for the first time ever today at Foodtown. She looked so cute, could barely see over the bar. She's actually playing by herself for once. Only for about 10 minutes at a time.
Selah's learned to sit by herself this week. Actually, I think she would have mastered it earlier but I never thought to put her down on the floor. We always sit on the bed cause it's easier on my back. She looks really tiny on the floor. She still kind of hunches over to keep from falling. She's pretty good at balancing herself. We actually put her in the shopping cart for the first time ever today at Foodtown. She looked so cute, could barely see over the bar. She's actually playing by herself for once. Only for about 10 minutes at a time.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
love letter
dear lover-
lack of absence makes the heart grow complacent. i'm sorry for taking you for granted. i'm sorry for not seeing what's right in front of me. it's so easy to ignore the person you see the most, but this is no excuse. i want to do better. i want to be grateful that i get to go to sleep next to you and wake up next to you. to know that you're there even when i'm not conscious.
when you have to go out of town my heart hurts. i yearn for you. and how i rejoice when you come home. it should feel like that everyday. everyday you come home. if you ever have to go Home [big H] then i don't want to regret time wasted. i want to breathe in your scent and feel your warmth on my skin and remember that i loved you the best i could.
lately i've been learning that it's not love if you don't love during the hard times. it's easy when things are good, but the rubber meets the road when it's tough. i've had ample opportunities to love when it's tough and i haven't done so well. it's easier to get angry or mad.
here's to better days- to love in the good and bad.
lack of absence makes the heart grow complacent. i'm sorry for taking you for granted. i'm sorry for not seeing what's right in front of me. it's so easy to ignore the person you see the most, but this is no excuse. i want to do better. i want to be grateful that i get to go to sleep next to you and wake up next to you. to know that you're there even when i'm not conscious.
when you have to go out of town my heart hurts. i yearn for you. and how i rejoice when you come home. it should feel like that everyday. everyday you come home. if you ever have to go Home [big H] then i don't want to regret time wasted. i want to breathe in your scent and feel your warmth on my skin and remember that i loved you the best i could.
lately i've been learning that it's not love if you don't love during the hard times. it's easy when things are good, but the rubber meets the road when it's tough. i've had ample opportunities to love when it's tough and i haven't done so well. it's easier to get angry or mad.
here's to better days- to love in the good and bad.
Monday, January 24, 2011
one of my favorite memories
... was the night I got engaged. Louis and I had joked about getting married but I thought that was that, we were just ... joking. After all, we had only been dated for 6 months and I was a long ways away. I knew that there was no way that my parents would allow me to get married while I was still in school, I had 2 whole years ahead of me.
It has been a hard week of school. Like kick your butt hard. It was probably Wednesday or Thursday when my bestie Sandra called me out of the blue. "I heard you were engaged?" she joked.
"No ma'am, I wish!" I replied. She knew that I had found 'the one' and she heard that we were getting serious. She just called me to clarify how serious we were.
I told Louis later what she said. "Huh." he responded, "I wonder why she thought that." Little did I know, he was thinking, "now how in the world did she know that?! I haven't told a soul!!" And turns out, she really DIDN'T know what was about to happen to me. Call it female intuition?
I was supposed to drive down to Houston that weekend from College Station but the week was too trying on me. I told Louis I would love to see him but I was too tired and we'd have to wait until next weekend. He sighed. "Fine, how about I come get you and then I'll take you back up on Sunday?" Sounded good to me! No driving and more time with my sweetie? I'd take it!
That Saturday (April 2, 2005) we went to the House of Prayer. It's basically a souped up trailer on the outside of his church. The HoP is actually very significant to us. The young adults group met out there and we had clocked many hours of long long conversations. Sometimes into 2am. Don't tell my mom! We'd look up and everyone would have left and it'd be just the two of us. Sometimes we would come out and play a worship cd and pray together. It was really nice.
So that's exactly what we did. He had put together a special mix cd and popped it in the player. We listened to the songs and sang together and just hung out. When the music stopped, we prayed and thanked God for our relationship and all that He had given us. It was very sweet. When we were done, he took my hand and rested our hands on top of his bible. He told me how grateful he was that our relationship had God as the foundation. He said a lot of other beautiful things as well. He pulled a beautiful wooden box out of his pocket.
My first thought was, Oh what a pretty box. I am still absolutely clueless at this point. Mind you, I'm really not that oblivious! I catch on pretty quickly most of the time, I promise! He opens the box and my mouth dropped. That shiny ring with the most sparkly diamond, it was like I couldn't breathe. I was really really shocked. Louis continued with his speech but I must confess that at this point, I didn't hear anything else. He was proposing. He was proposing TO ME. Somebody wanted me to marry them. Wow. I realized that I had to tune back into the conversation before I missed my part. He had been talking for a long time. At some point, I thought he was done and he was gonna officially pop the question and I blurted out, "Yes!" But apparently, I was early because he kept talking. Finally finally we got to the big question.
Yes. Of course. I would love to be your wife.
That night, I was on Cloud 9 with a Red Bull. I was so hyped. So happy. So excited. Nothing could have bursted my bubble. I remember being very elated. I was gonna get married.
Today, I'm his wife. Married. With a kid! Some days I look back and can't believe where we are. But here we are. Whether or not, I believe it or not. We've come so far and have so far to go.
To happily ever after.
It has been a hard week of school. Like kick your butt hard. It was probably Wednesday or Thursday when my bestie Sandra called me out of the blue. "I heard you were engaged?" she joked.
"No ma'am, I wish!" I replied. She knew that I had found 'the one' and she heard that we were getting serious. She just called me to clarify how serious we were.
I told Louis later what she said. "Huh." he responded, "I wonder why she thought that." Little did I know, he was thinking, "now how in the world did she know that?! I haven't told a soul!!" And turns out, she really DIDN'T know what was about to happen to me. Call it female intuition?
I was supposed to drive down to Houston that weekend from College Station but the week was too trying on me. I told Louis I would love to see him but I was too tired and we'd have to wait until next weekend. He sighed. "Fine, how about I come get you and then I'll take you back up on Sunday?" Sounded good to me! No driving and more time with my sweetie? I'd take it!
That Saturday (April 2, 2005) we went to the House of Prayer. It's basically a souped up trailer on the outside of his church. The HoP is actually very significant to us. The young adults group met out there and we had clocked many hours of long long conversations. Sometimes into 2am. Don't tell my mom! We'd look up and everyone would have left and it'd be just the two of us. Sometimes we would come out and play a worship cd and pray together. It was really nice.
So that's exactly what we did. He had put together a special mix cd and popped it in the player. We listened to the songs and sang together and just hung out. When the music stopped, we prayed and thanked God for our relationship and all that He had given us. It was very sweet. When we were done, he took my hand and rested our hands on top of his bible. He told me how grateful he was that our relationship had God as the foundation. He said a lot of other beautiful things as well. He pulled a beautiful wooden box out of his pocket.
My first thought was, Oh what a pretty box. I am still absolutely clueless at this point. Mind you, I'm really not that oblivious! I catch on pretty quickly most of the time, I promise! He opens the box and my mouth dropped. That shiny ring with the most sparkly diamond, it was like I couldn't breathe. I was really really shocked. Louis continued with his speech but I must confess that at this point, I didn't hear anything else. He was proposing. He was proposing TO ME. Somebody wanted me to marry them. Wow. I realized that I had to tune back into the conversation before I missed my part. He had been talking for a long time. At some point, I thought he was done and he was gonna officially pop the question and I blurted out, "Yes!" But apparently, I was early because he kept talking. Finally finally we got to the big question.
Yes. Of course. I would love to be your wife.
That night, I was on Cloud 9 with a Red Bull. I was so hyped. So happy. So excited. Nothing could have bursted my bubble. I remember being very elated. I was gonna get married.
Today, I'm his wife. Married. With a kid! Some days I look back and can't believe where we are. But here we are. Whether or not, I believe it or not. We've come so far and have so far to go.
To happily ever after.
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